Sleepless

awoke this morning..hmm well this afternoon with a very throbbing headache. that is what you get for being awake for almost 24 hours + !! Could not sleep at all going over to Shanghai and even there at the hotel, I barely slept. My brain must be on major overload. Thankfully, coming back home, I was able to knock myself out for a few hours on crew rest to feel slightly refreshed. only slightly, because once we landed, I had to go over to shin's brothers restaurant to meet up with them for her bday/val's baby shower.

I should have left early. I should have stayed for an hour or two. but then, what kind of friend would that have made me. true, i just got off of a damn 15 hours flight and feel like i'm about to pass out at any moment, but i barely do get to see my friends nowadays since i have been flying. it was nice to see them and hear there stories, what has been going on in their lives...it distracted me from my own worries and troubles. my mom was suppose to come back home that evening as well...her flight got delayed and came in at 7:30pm...but then, because of bad weather conditions, they shut down the whole airport and they were not able to retrieve their luggage as everything had been shut down.

11:30pm and they are still at the airport!! i was lucky, our flight barely made it before the weather hit. My aunt's luggage is still lost in baggage claim. it's ridiculous. my mom got her stuff, but my aunt's stuff is oddly missing. i hope she finds it. got home around the same time as them, which was close to 12:30...got to listen to my mom tell stories about their trip. it is nice to have her back.

went upstairs and got ready for bed...but could not sleep...2 am....3 am...4 am....finally sheer fatigue won out over resistance.

In Shanghai, as long as I was not alone, I did not have a chance to think...but once I was in my room...that was all that I could think about...the many debates and inner conflicts I had with myself...sigh...when i managed to sleep 10 mins here....15 mins there...i always woke up crying...it was so strange...how much pain can someone suffer?

I got to go with Winnie and Lily on this trip. It was fun. My friend George from my childhood was up in China, so he came to Shanghai to meet us up for the day. We went to a street known as 'little eats street' tried out some of the local delicacies...well..more like they did and i just watched and cringed everytime they tried to get me to eat whatever it was they were eating...squids on skewers, lamb meat on a skewer, etc....bleh! We went to check out The Bund...very nice in the evening when all the buildings light up.

interesting trip...glad to be home tho...being on a plane for that many hours does kind of start to get tiring...but now...i'm alone again. so to not think i try to sleep. except, it's not that easy for me to fall asleep since my brain is still so wired up and active. argh!! sometimes i'll find myself staring at a space in my room for a long time and then snap out of it and wonder what had happened. thought process overload maybe...more rest is needed...think i over exhaust myself before i can sleep...not the best way to stay healthy...need to work on that...