When You Can't Forgive

Excerpt from "The Power of A Praying Woman"

When You Can't Forgive

Forgiveness is never easy. But sometimes it feels downright impossible in light of the devastating and horrendous pain we have suffered. If you have a hard time forgiving someone, ask God to help you. That's what I did regarding my mother, and by the time she died, I had absolutely no hard feelings toward her. If you can think of someone whom you find it hard to forgive, ask God to give you a heart of forgiveness for them. Pray for them in all the ways you can think of to pray. It's amazing how God softens our hearts when we pray for people. Our anger, resentment, and hurt turn into love.

Don't worry, however. When we forgive someone, it doesn't make them right or justify what they have done. It releases them into God's hand so HE can deal with them. Forgiveness is actually the best revenge because it not only sets us free from the person we forgive, but it frees us to move into all God has for us. Our forgiving someone doesn't depend on them admitting guilt or apologizing. If it did, most of us would never be able to do it. We can forgive no matter what the other person does.

Sometimes incidents happen in our lives that are so devastating we can go for years without realizing the depth of the bitterness we have because of it. Sometimes we don't forigve ourselves for things we've done, and so we give ourselves a lifetime of punishment for whatever we did or did not do. Sometimes we blame God for things that have happened. Ask God to show you if any of these things are true about you. Don't let unforgiveness limit what God wants to do in your life.

My Prayer to God:

Lord, help me to be a forgiving person. Show me where I am not. Expose the recesses of my soul so I won't be locked up by unforgiveness and jeopardize my future. If I have any anger, bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness that I am not recognizing, reveal it to me and I will confess it to You as sin. Specifically, I ask You to help me fully forgive W and S and myself. Make me to understand the depth of Your forgiveness toward me so that I won't hold back forgiveness from others. I realize that my forgiving someone doesn't make them right; it makes me free. I also realize that You are the only one who knows the whole story, and You will see justice done.

Help me to forgive myself for the times I have failed. And if I have blamed You for things that have happened in my life, show me so I can confess it before You. Enable me to love my enemies as You have commanded in Your Word. Teach me to bless those who curse me and persecute me (Matthew 5:44-45). Remind me to pray for those who hurt or offend me so that my heart will be soft toward them. I don't want to become hard and bitter because of unforgiveness. Make me a person who is quick to forgive.

Lord, show me if I have any unforgiveness toward my mother or father for anything they did or did not do. I don't want to shorten my life by not honoring them and breaking this great commandment. And where there is distance between me and any other family member because of unforgiveness, I pray You would break down that wall. Help me to forgive every time I need to do so. Where I can be an instrument of reconciliation between other family members who have broken or strained relationships, enable me to do that.

I don't want anything to come between You and me, Lord, and I don't want my prayers to be hindered because I have entertained sin in my heart. I choose this day to forgive everyone and everything, and walk free from the death that unforgiveness brings. If any person has unforgiveness toward me, I pray You would soften their heart to forgive me and show me what I can do to help resolve this issue between us. I know that I cannot be a light to others as long as I am walking in the darkness of unforgiveness. I choose to walk in the light as You are in the light and be cleansed from all sin (1 John 1:7)